me, myself and my life

2 weeks’ notice

2007-01-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well.. it is not like the 2weeks’s notice-a romantic comedy by Sandra Bullock and Mr. H. Grant…It is about my time approaching 30s in two weeks..

I find it a bit sad to leave my 20 behind and approaching 30.. but 31 is the great year..I believe.. it will be my great age. I am not just a girl, even though I am not yet a completed woman. But I can feel this woman (me) is growing up..not physically but mentally…

What makes a completed woman? I ask myself.

..a beauty on her face?
..a bright hope in her eyes?
..a secure financial life?
..a faithful husband?
..a cute first baby?

Some of those in above list I can get it myself. Some of them it takes time to figure out. And some of them got to leave in the safe God hands. Life is destined.

Do you believe in faith?

One day... there would be me and my beloved one looking over London...

Christmas trip

2007-01-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

I spent my Christmas 2006 travelling up to Chiang Rai, the northern province of Thailand... It is the place where I thought I lost in Europe. Switzerland perhaps. I think the photo explains itself perfectly. I woke up at 4.30am. in order to walk up to the top of the Phu Chee Fah hill and waited there until 6.45am to see the first sun rise!.. Well it was so impressive and stunning. Worth for all tortures, don't you think?

(look at the top of the hill, there were hundred of Thai tourists!)

Also, I went to the most fabulous temple of Thailand.. Wat RongKhun...built by Chalermchai Kositpipat, great Thai artist who revives the greatest Thai art architecture. But you may need to vote whether the chapel or the toilet is more beautiful!

Toilet VS Chapel

And here are the 7 cute girl gang I went with....
sorry, one girl missing- she is our great photographer!

So. here I am now... saying Goodbye 2006 and Say
"Hi" to 2007 with the hope that great things will happen in my life!

Love is in the air… December is the month to celebrate and make a wish.

2006-12-14T02:03:00.000-08:00

Unlike Bridget Jones that her love life starts from Christmas party at her parent house, my Christmas would start from receiving good news from my friends. It is really the great time to share with the ones you love and the ones who really love you… only the worth persons will be with you during Christmas time.

I celebrate the passing 2006 year with some progress on my career achievement. In 2005, I gain my MA degree from my dreamed land, United Kingdom. This year, I had been working for a project to celebrate the King’s 60th anniversary accession to the throne and then join United Nations… even so somebody would say UN-United Nothing! Anyway, I meet great person and become my good colleague.

Also, 2006 year is the time to move on. My London Met university friends are now moving on with their life. Some of them are still in the UK, having a good job, getting married and becoming a permanent Londoner! Those who left UK and are now back to their country, also have a good job and some got married!

Surprisingly, 2006 is the year of career revolution! Six of my 15 London Met international office colleagues, got a new job and say goodbye to the Uni. Time to say farewell.

2006 year is also the year for Baby. God knows… it is not the year for my baby… not just yet. There are 3 people I know, having a baby this year. One of them is my close friend who kept saying in last September 2005 that her love life was so shit.. Now she got married, lives happily with her beloved husband and finally just gave birth to her new baby boy. I would rather say that her hubby has a good potential of great father telling by the way he kept ever single shot during the labor session.

Next year, another closed friend who our friend named him “King of the Hound!” will get married. He said he would propose his girlfriend this Christmas. All my friends are so surprised but glad for him… He is the one who said…”Love comes when you least expected” Well…. Like those wise men say “Love is in the air”

I am so looking forward to 2007! My sister will be going to German for studying her Master degree. She has just been confirmed that she has got the scholarship. My life will be on the adventure again!

Sweet November

2006-11-24T00:32:00.000-08:00

Cancer Cancelled!
Life is Present!!!!

Everyone fears of death I must say. Life is just like this, we born, grow up, become adult, get old, get pain and then die…. Everyone might have his/her own way to tell his/her life story. We share the same life pattern but the details are different.

As my age is approaching to 30, I feel I am getting old. I feel that life is not that bright and cheerful all the time. Life is like a four season in a year.. but hardly that we will love all those four. Recently, I went to the medical check-up: the annual and simply one. I thought things would be fine… I am just as young as 20. Then, the doctor told me..I might get a chance to have an ovary cancer! What the hell was she talking about!
Here I was, living my life with panic and fear for two months; half belief that I might be the cancer victim. I went to the more sophisticated medical check to sentence my health. Finally, the result came through, it was not. I am clear of the cancer. But hell, I have to keep check-up for it every year.

From this incident, I just realize how precious my life would be. What else I wanna do, wanna see and wanna experience before my last day will come. I have lost one friend with cancer at his age of 28!..I don’t know whether I will live till I turns 60, 70 or 80.
But what I know if I will enjoy my life as the greatest present I ever have. Every single minute should be spent without regret.

My mum has been diagnosed as the breast cancer victim. She went through medical treatment for two times and lives happily for the past ten year. Now the doctor said- it comes back again, at her lung and her kidney. No treatment can cure her permanently.. she would need to enjoy her life. Well.. this proves even more that life is too short.

As my birthday is coming in two months time, I will begin each day with the best of me. I will enjoy each day as it is my last day. No more fear and no more regret. Life is too short to keep holding back.

This is the “SWEET NOVEMBER”

My James BOND- sexiest secret agent!

2006-11-17T01:13:00.000-08:00

With the 007 James Bond legacy, I would like to say that my first Bond is Mr. Pierce Bronan.

He is charming and got the British Gentleman look to fit in my imagination of 007 from MI6 agent.

After four Brosnan’s Bond series, here comes Mr. Daniel Craig in 007 Casino Royale. I felt a bit disappointed as Mr. Criag is the Bond killer, not Mr. Bond Charming. Perhaps this would prove that he is the ordinary British sexy standard where you can meet him in everyday life like at your local pub or at the Premier league football pitch. I have got no argument with his fit body, even though sadly we could not see his fit bums when he was wiped! But I think his strong muscle legs would turn some of my friends on.

Sample of British sexy standard!

The movie seems to fill up with British sarcastic homours. Only thing that makes me wonder would be that British guys would just go for the sexy girl type who is attached! Well, Mr. Bond really claimed that the single girl would not be his type as he is sort of hit-and-run kinda man! I found Casino Royale is generally good in terms of fighting scenes and screen play. The gadgets are less fascinating in this film compared to the previous ones. Perhaps the Goodgle earth is the most advanced IT programme for 21st century human being!
Wanna be in his arms?

Such a Total Waste of Makeup

2006-10-25T01:49:00.000-07:00

Hey… sorry for not being around and updating my blog.. I have been through the busiest and most terrified period of my working and personal life… Hence, I don’t have much time to write something fun or reflect my thoughts..

Now, it is about time and since there have been a lot of changes in my life and my friends’ life.. so, I would like to dedicate this chapter to the chic-novel I recently finished. “A Total Waste of Makeup” - a novel by Kim Gruenenfelder. It is about a 29 years old girl who works as a Personal Assistant to a famous movie star. Well, she got well-paid up.. but eh.. most of the girls are like her “lucky in Game but unlucky in Love” She was facing her younger sister up-coming wedding while she didn’t even have a long term relationship! Now, you know why I like this book.. sounds so familiar, doesn’t it!

So, she decided to write some of her life lessons which she wished to know them since her teenage for her grand-grandnieces! And those are included

- Don’t wait by the phone! (your guy don’t call, but your mother will!)
- Don’t chase the man but let the man chase you!
- To tell whether a guy loves you.. so easy.. he will do anything to be with you
- Never ask the guy about his ex-girlfriend
- Don’t find love, but love finds you!
- Fuckbuddies are men’s idea and it works for men not women!
etc.

Well…some of them I do agree as they were proved… but only the happy ending is still the mysterious for me! Anyway, I got some other advice to add on her list i.e.

- If the guy suggests keeping the relationship secret, then you end up just a shag buddy. Nothing more than that…so better dump him!
- No news is good news, especially when you split up with your BF, you don’t need to hear the update of his love life.
- Bad boss = poor career development.. life will be very miserable
- The ability to bounce back like a basketball is a must-have survivor kit
- Life moves on… no matter what!
- The best time of love is when you flirt with a guy. You face the cutest and best of him

Any life lessons that you would like to add on.. you are welcome!

The EX Factor !!!!!!

2006-05-10T04:40:00.000-07:00

Promising you that I will write about Bridget Jones’s true love finding and her conquest that she finally found her True Love, Mr. Darcy, here is my version.

I went to my Scottish friend’s living do, who I mentioned that he thought Thailand was his Home country, while Scotland was the place where his history was. He finally decided to leave Thailand and headed back to the UK. For How Long?, well, he will be back just only for six months and he has already his return ticket booked for being back to Thailand. So we had his leaving do tonight anyway.

At the party, I met one of my EXs. What should I say…I feel more comfortable to call him “the guy I used to date with.” We didn’t talk as he came with his new girlfriend.

Asking me, I felt anything like hurt???? No, Frankly, I felt. nothing.. no emotion left about him.

Asking whether it was the bad break-up? Not really, he was such a nice sort of boyfriend while we were dating.

But…the situation left me a few thoughts to think about my past relationship.

I am 29 this year and going to be 30. I always consider myself as a young teenager, hence my approach to Love was like a puppy love style. I just simply thought that it would work out anyway, if we try hard enough and do everything for that so-called true love. I would win Mr. Daniel Cleaver’s heart. And if there was something wrong, it downed to my lack of attempt.

Now, I am grown up. It took me almost four years and a few sort of good guys to make me understand the real factor of Love. I wanna call them the EX-FACTORS.

The first EX-Factor made me realise, if it is not fit, it won’t work. Even though how much I tried ie. giving up my dream and just ready to settle down, it was not enough to make the relationship work. I ended up wasting my good two years.

The second Ex-Factor, made me realise, distance doesn’t matter. If it was not meant to be, no matter 5000 miles away or 2 stops of underground train station. But I would say this guy was my inspiration for coming up to London and proved it. Well, I didn’t get a man, but I got an MA degree!

The third EX-Factor, made me realise, believe in my own instinct. He was a good guy as a boyfriend or a great friend… but not as a person. He supported me emotionally a lot and helped me go through the tough homesick time. I feel Thankful for that. I didn’t get mad when he told me he had a new girlfriend. But we were friends for three years, but he rated our three year platonic friendship far below that his new love. I wasn’t the type of girl who begged the guy to be back with me and would steal anyone BF. Apparently, he claimed that his girlfriend would think so if he is in touch with me. For God Sake!
So, I said to him finally that let’s get back when we never know each other. So now he didn’t exist in my world as at last night party or anytime from now on.

Therefore, I learnt my lesson and used it with my latest Ex-factor. I knew that it wasn’t going to work since the beginning. As soon as he said he wanted to “keep it secret”, I could see clearly in his eyes. But you know, life is too short! Let’s go through it and there is no regret!

All my EX-factors are my EXperience of life. They are my EXtra stories and gave flavours in my life. All of them can go to my "The EX-file!". Without them, how could I appreciate my Mr. Right when he comes along!

Out of the Blue

2006-05-04T04:30:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, I had an meeting appoinment today.. my Boss told me that "see you 5 pm at Hilton Millennium, BKK. We would see our client there. So I went there...This hotel is the newest hotel in BKK, just open on Thonburi, Klongsan, another side of Chaopraya river. (Thinking about you go to the hotel in Dockland, or East London, it is that civilised)

It is open after the construction had been suspended for the past 10 years due to not enough secured building plan.. But you know, anything is possible in Thailand if you got enough money!
So I went there and the first thing I saw... the hotel is very nice and impressive with the minimalist decoration style.

BUT.. the even more surprised thing was at the main gate... I saw a GUY!.. A cute British guy in a white T-shirt and blue Jeans standing facing directly to me at the front hotel glass gate (where the bellboys are always there)
... While I was walking closed to him.. our eyes met... I kept cool, walking passing him and didn't show much interest, only a small smile on my face..

Then I walked through the door and I just realised! IT'S LEE Ryan, formerlly BLUE boyband member!!!!

What the hell he was doing in that hotel!? Second later, I recalled that he would have a concert in Thailand to promote his new album. But who would have thought that he would be in that hotel, considering it is very new and far away from the central BKK?

I was a big fan of BLUE... but I don't like going to the concert or watching any MVs. I am not that Crazy type of fans.. I just listen to their music.. therefore I was so surprised that I met him in person!

I even asked him with the most stupid question when he was walking back to the lobby area
"Are you Lee?" Well, I was not gonna tell you what our conversation was as it was embarrassing situation for me :)

So,, you may ask whether I could be concentrate to my meeting later? Another surprised, I was at the wrong place! My boss changed the meeting venue to the Emporium, hi-class shopping mall near my workplace..he texted but I didn't get the message.

Well, wrong place but RIGHT time.. so this flirt story was OUT of the BLUE... it is not Simon Webbe, but it is Lee Ryan!

PS. Lesson learnt, don't flirt with any cute guy in the white T-shirt and blue Jeans.. They look ordinary but might be not!

This is the guy I flirted with (^_^)

007- From London with Love

2006-04-26T03:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like me? You always want to be in the certain place like you feel belong to that place. For me, I used to feel that I should have lived in London. I wanted to go there and live there for so long. And somehow I always have a feeling of "there was something waiting for me there " under my skin. This feeling was getting stronger after my first two-weeks visit as a tourist and 9 months later as an international student.

While I was sitting in the hall of St’ Paul Cathedral during my first visit, I thought there must be something waiting for me here, in London. So, I did my best to be back there again. In October 2005, I was back to London and had been in London for 14 months. However, I realized there was nothing… nothing or no one is actually waiting for me in London. I realized where my root is and how importance the real sense of belonging to my home country means to me. What is the point living in a place where is nothing ties you there. Will the better paid job is worth being there for without your beloved family?

Ironically, now I am definitely settle down in Bangkok. Some part of me still miss London so much.. and still wonder what would be like to live there. I got many British friends who had lived in Bangkok, left BKK for UK and then keep coming back. Some of them, he visited Thailand for the first time and never leave Thailand for 7 years. He called Thailand his home country, not Glasgow where he was born.

Another friend, he hates the idea of living in BKK, but he couldn’t resist BKK and keeps coming back to stay at least 3 months every year for the past 3 years!

What would you call this, faith or destiny?

The One- the Matrix

2006-04-24T02:39:00.000-07:00

I was asked a question from one of my friends and perhaps the most popular FAQ question that most single people would have been asked or I have been asked?

"Have you found 'The ONE?"

Why do people keep asking this question? Even those who have already been in a couple stage would sometimes ask themselve, "Is he/she the one for me?" How could anyone tell that current partner/BF or GF is the one for you, except yourself?

For me, my answer would be "No, I haven't found my "the One" yet? Even when it comes close to the answer, time has revealed that "no, he is the one for ME" Frankly, I think time and personal feeling (interaction) would define the One. We will eventually figure out who is The One for us.

For those who have found your The One, You are so lucky man! as you can spend time to be happy with your One more than the others.

For those who are still looking for or waiting for the One, I hope that she/he is worth for your patient. Even though, it will take you as long as the Matrix, Trilogy to prove you she/he is "the One".....

Will you need the KEY man?

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

2006-04-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

I went to see Ice Age2: the Meltdown and feel like really want to get Bangkok turned to be the Ice Age. It is very hot now and the weather forecast people saying that Bangkok temperature will reach at 40C degree on 23 April! Sahara?

Ice Age: The Meltdown was as much fun as the first Ice Age. I love it! The scratt, the nut-obsessed squirrel, is lovely and funny as usual. You can't help laughing at him for his constant quest for his lost nut.

This mades me think that the good side was we will try our best to do anything to get what we really want. However, on the lost side, you may end up trying for getting something that it was not meant to be yours since beginning. Then, you will never be happy with what you already have.
One thing that Sid told Manny, the Mammoth was quite true. If you can't let go the past, you won't have the future. I am totally agree with Sid... But everyone knows that to let go is the most difficult thing to do... It takes the life experience and personal strenght to understand the fact of life... then let go.

Well, everyone wants things to go as they want, tries to get things to be on their ways and don't wanna get hurt or fail. But... you know...we get thing and we lost thing. This is the fact of life. If we lose the adaptation ability for the new situation, we will either suffer or die, like Mammoths.

Failure to Launch

2006-04-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Aha, thinking the idea of my three days hibernation at home seemed to be too long and too boring for me and perhaps drove me crazy! So I decided to go out for a movie today and saw my friends at their house for big dinner! Yum yum….

The movie I saw today was ‘Failure to Launch.’ It was sort of romantic comedy movie with the combinations of ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ met ‘Sex and the City’. The cinema I saw is the brand new cinema located in the stage of Art of shopping complex called ‘Siam Paragon’, the newest and claimed to be the biggest shopping centre in Asia!?! The cinema itself is quite impressive as it is comprised of 13 screens next to the Bowling lanes on the fifth floors of the shopping complex. The ticket costs 140 Baht and 160 Baht for the higher seat roll far from the screen. The sounds system was super excellent. A big seat, plenty rooms for your legs and double size of screen room for each screen compared to Odeon on Holloway Road costs at 2 quid!. This is why I missed BKK cinema standard a lot as you can feel more of ‘value of money’ of my ticket price compared to the ticket that you pay for Odeon cinema in Leicester Square.

Talking about this movie theme, I got some points to make. First, is it really that easy to trick someone to fall in love? Checking with those ‘How to’ in relationship books on the shelves or Cosmo or any girly magazines, do their tricks really work??? Can we programme anyone to have that so-called ‘true love’ or ‘love’ feeling for us and trick them through the psychology or science theory step by step? And if we really study and record men and women’ reaction to Love (emotion reaction of two persons) with the statistic approach, can those reaction rules be applied to everyone? I so wonder. I really wonder. Or the Love thing just happens in the real life like fate? You just can’t control it!

Secondly, are all men really afraid of commitment? In the movie, the boy will dump a girl as soon as he saw "the look" in her eyes.. Oh well, it was just like to ring his bell alarm in his brain that 'Shit- I need to run! She is falling in Love" Oh well....no comments on this.. only that I found it is the most childist response of interaction, as you may end up hearing some lamed excuse from him i.e "You are too good for me" (this is the most popular sentence to indirectly break up with someone excuse)

Oh.. Bridget Jones

2006-04-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

I spent the second day of Songkran holiday to hibernate as promised. I did nothing, just sleeping, eating and cooking for my mum and sister. Then in the afternoon, my sister and I watched Bridget Jones’s Diary 2.

Oh well, you may think ‘not another Bridget girl again!’ But let me tell you something about my view to this ‘little Bridget’ (Yes, not Little Britain, I will write about it later)

I first come across of Bridget Jones since the first movie about to launch in BKK. Yes, I confess that I did not read the book version before. At that time, I was in BKK and start hanging out with my British friends and I was so eager to learn all about London lifestyle. It was my aspiration to come to study in London and I never live abroad before.. so guess what, I learn British culture through British movies and novels. Like most Asian people who never step outside their countries would have the picture of America as what they see in Hollywood movies. This is what we called ‘the culture colonisation.’ Ok, I won’t talk about this as it sounds very heavy… or should we keep it for the later topic.

Back to Bridget and what I have leart from her, my British friends in BKK told me that it reflects the normal British middle class lifestyle in some certain ways. Working in the office, office politic, drinking and pub culture were highlighted and made my friends thinking of the London working life at that time. I didn’t have a real experience of it before I arrived to London and worked in the British office and faced the real British drinking culture ’drinking after work and Friday evening drinks.’ I was so surprised as British poelple will hit the pub right after work at 5 pm and got drunk by 11pm. In BKK, we start drinking at 8pm and got sodrunk by 2 am. The good side of pub drinking is that you definitely have a good quality time with your collegue and have a good chat with friends… but the side effect is that the terrible hang-over is not the great thing for the following morning. (^_^)

Next thing is about the weight, sorry to be sound so obsessed with the weight and figure like Bridget. But I ensure you that no women on earth would be happy just the way they are! They always compare themselves with what we called ‘social beauty standard.’ Even though we know that it is varied from one culture to another and from times to times. The figure like Bridget would be the super model in ancient Roman time, but not now when all the catwalk girls are so skinny (not slim) like 10 years old boy! Like me, I was about 55 kilos, considered vary fat in BKK. Once I stepped at the Heathrow airport, I suddenly turned to be the Exotic Thai girl. As I told you, I worked a lot and walk everyday, my weight was gone down 5 kilos by the first week I was in UK. I even stayed in that slim figure for the next 9 months without even put any effort on it 555. Ironically, I was back to BKK for good, I was suddenly back to the fat girl as soon as I stepped in Don Muang airport. The average Thai girl figure is looked like Keira Knightley now!

Oh well, the next topic as the real Bridget would talk about her true love finding! I think I need to leave this topic later.. as I am sure that if I write it down….Helen Fielding would love to buy it for her new best seller plot!

One last thing to say, Bridget always reminds me of both London and Thailand life. Funny enough, I saw it when I was in BKK and wanted to go to UK so much and the first Bridget made me want to go to London so much, walking around Piccadilly Circus, running in the summer Primrose Hill and pub culture. But when I saw the 2nd Bridget, it made me feel homesick. I saw it when I had been in London only for 2 months and the bright blue sky and deep blue sea made me want to go back home right way! This is why the Buddhist says ‘Be happy with what you got would be the best way of your mind peace.’ Often, human being loves to dream and wish for something they doesn’t have!

PS. I like primrose Hill but I still prefer Hampstead Heath.
'I am just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her'
(Notting Hill)

Hot April day

2006-04-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hurah! After the week of nightmare working, I finally got another 5 days of Songkran Holiday.

Let me tell you abit about Songkran holiday. It is the Thai New Year in the hottest month of the year. While most of my friends in UK are welcoming the cold breeze of Spring, I have been grilled under the bright blue sky at 38C degree! So, what Thai people do is to throw water to each other to cool down the heat! Those foreigners may know this festival as the Water festival!

You may wonder what I normally do on Songkran holiday? Aha, I normally hibernate at home like a polar bear in winter time. Frankly, I hate getting wet. People throw the water at me from the big bucket! But don't get me wrong, I don't feel offend if any of my friends would love to join this festival!

One more thing that has happened to me was I finally join the gym. I think this is my last piece of jigzaw for me to get my BKK life back. Asking me to join the gym when I was in London- No way. Why? I have got more than enough exercise by walking up and down Tufnell Park to Holloway Road to my uni.. 30 mins/ trip, 5 days a week! It was more than when a doctor would ask you to work out 3 times a week for keeping you fit. In addion, I used to work in the Thai restaurant in Camden. Approx 9 hours a day and 2 days a week on top of my uni journey!

You can imagine that I can stay very slim and healthy without trying very hard.

But life in BKK is different. It takes me at least 1.5 hours to travel from home to work by 3 publica transport channels, car, boat and sky train! The only exercise I got only walking up and down 90 stairs to get on the sky train platform. As a result of the white collar working style, I gain 5 kilos , just after a week holiday and 6 weeks office work.

As a rule of thumb for those healthy advice, exercise is the only way to get fit and healthy! Now I promise, I will work out! But it will be after Songkran. (^_^) Remember, it's my hibernate period but in Summer!

Welcome to my world!

2006-04-04T01:38:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

After the long time reading other's blog, I just start feeling like writing it for my own. This web blog as the title, will focus on me, me and me...

Please don't think that this will be totally the best self-centred blog..but I hope this is the best channel to keep on my thinking and how I see the world.. from my own eyes (^_^)

Welcome to my world!

Call me: Nucha
Identify: Lovely female
Life: Bangkok City life VS London life